Nature
What's the coolest nature thang you ever saw in person? I once saw a hawk snatch a squirrel off the ground and it was fucking awesome. I also saw a rattlersnake coil up and shake at me before I killed it with a rifle.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Things I have Done
When I used to work at Countrywide there was a big black English dude named Earl who processed the submitted loans. Whenever he wanted to use the restroom he had to walk past my desk. Sometimes he would just go and sometimes he would take a newspaper with him. On the occasions that he took a newspaper I got into the habit of singing "Duke of Earl" at him as he passed. Of course this was too irresistible and pretty soon everyone in the area was joining in and adding harmonies and shit. We were actually pretty good sounding. Earl hated it but laughed every time anyway.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Rich's Links of the Day
Catchiest Song Ever
Remember those dorks in middle school who used to where Misfits shirts? That band is actually kinda kick.
In keeping with the theme of old ass things I never heard of but now love check out this song by SLADE.
Or THEESe. If you don't like Slade there is something wrong with you.
Nerds do mean things to other nerds. To a sweet sound track aforementioned as it turn out.
Remember those dorks in middle school who used to where Misfits shirts? That band is actually kinda kick.
In keeping with the theme of old ass things I never heard of but now love check out this song by SLADE.
Or THEESe. If you don't like Slade there is something wrong with you.
Nerds do mean things to other nerds. To a sweet sound track aforementioned as it turn out.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Poll Over
Well apparently Louisiana Hot Sauce is awesome and Tabasco is terrible. Weird how you never see LHS anywhere but Tabasco is ubiquitous. People must like terrible shit.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Seattle Sounders FC
Tonight is the franchise premier of the newest Major League Soccer team - Seattle Sounders FC. I bought season tickets about a year ago and have been looking forward to this for a long time. The games will be played on the X-Box Pitch at Qwest Field (where the Seahawks play). Beautiful Drew Carey is a minority owner in the team and has led the development of the fanbase and the marketing campaign. One of his ideas was to have a marching band, so now they have one. They are leading a big procession of fans through downtown and into the stadium before kickoff, so I'm going to be a part of that. I never thought I'd have something so precious in my life as participating in a Drew Carey-led parade. Carey has also set the team up European style where the ticket holders get to vote on management and stuff like that.
Seattle Sounders FC homepage
Video of Drew Carey talking to CNN about the team
Gameday: Sounders vs. New York Red Bulls
This is also the season opener for MLS, so it will be on the Deuce in HD. A little unfortunate to be scheduled against March Madness, but it's sold out anyway.
The Sounders' "Beckham" is Freddie Ljungberg. He is the "designated player", meaning they can pay the shit out of him without affecting the salary cap. I think he's getting $7M this year. Anyway, the story is pretty similar to Beckham's: captain of his national team (Sweden), huge star in the English Premier League (Arsenal), underwear model and just slightly over the hill at 32. I predict he will be an A-list celebrity this time next year.
Lastly, to ensure an awesome atmosphere in the stadium, Carey had the idea of making the tickets for the opener actually be Sounders scarves, so everyone will have them. Mine came with my season tix. Look for me on TV - I sit at about the 35, 12 rows up on the side of the field where the Sounders shoot on goal in the 2nd half.
Seattle Sounders FC homepage
Video of Drew Carey talking to CNN about the team
Gameday: Sounders vs. New York Red Bulls
This is also the season opener for MLS, so it will be on the Deuce in HD. A little unfortunate to be scheduled against March Madness, but it's sold out anyway.
The Sounders' "Beckham" is Freddie Ljungberg. He is the "designated player", meaning they can pay the shit out of him without affecting the salary cap. I think he's getting $7M this year. Anyway, the story is pretty similar to Beckham's: captain of his national team (Sweden), huge star in the English Premier League (Arsenal), underwear model and just slightly over the hill at 32. I predict he will be an A-list celebrity this time next year.
Lastly, to ensure an awesome atmosphere in the stadium, Carey had the idea of making the tickets for the opener actually be Sounders scarves, so everyone will have them. Mine came with my season tix. Look for me on TV - I sit at about the 35, 12 rows up on the side of the field where the Sounders shoot on goal in the 2nd half.
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
An early morning fire Wednesday caused minor damage to Albasha Greek and Lebanese restaurant while smoke from that fire caused minor damage to Primo’s Steak and Italian restaurant, both on Bluebonnet Boulevard near Interstate 10.
St. George Fire Protection District firefighters were called to Albasha, 5454 Bluebonnet Blvd., at 2:23 a.m., said Eldon Ledoux, a Fire Protection District spokesman.
When they arrived, firefighters found smoldering debris in the food-preparation area of the restaurant, Ledoux said.
The fire had been extinguished by the restaurant’s sprinkler system.
Albasha received minor fire and smoke damage while Primo’s received minor smoke damage, Ledoux said.
No big deal though, they're back open.
St. George Fire Protection District firefighters were called to Albasha, 5454 Bluebonnet Blvd., at 2:23 a.m., said Eldon Ledoux, a Fire Protection District spokesman.
When they arrived, firefighters found smoldering debris in the food-preparation area of the restaurant, Ledoux said.
The fire had been extinguished by the restaurant’s sprinkler system.
Albasha received minor fire and smoke damage while Primo’s received minor smoke damage, Ledoux said.
No big deal though, they're back open.
Tonight
Don't know where you are gonna be tonight but here is where you SHOULD be:
This Thursday March the 19th at 8:30pm Jimmy's 43 on 7th Street nestled betwixt 2nd and 3rd Avenues is proud to submit as evidance:
Beers and Girls and Country Music!
The new Dive Bar Country Music Sensation that is sweeping the ..uh..this particular dive bar this Thursday!
Featuring lead singer of the world renowned Classaholics and front man extraordinaire:
Rich Mann!
With special guest on lead guitar from The Prigs (the band not the people):
MACK PRICE!
With possible guest appearance by the always entertaining, on drums:
MARK “IF HE FEELS LIKE COMING” GRAHAM!
We will be playing all of your old favorites plus mixing in our special brand of filthy drinking bar songs too embarrassing and offendenating to be mentioned in this email.
Such As!:
She Caught My Eye, I Caught Her Chlamydia
Hard Cussin Woman
Grampa Please Stay Out of Grandma’s Underwear Draw (the ballad of Marv Albert)
I Gotta Take a Paternity Test
Darlin, I Love You and Shit
And many more! Show starts at 8:30pm and concludes at drunk.
This Thursday March the 19th at 8:30pm Jimmy's 43 on 7th Street nestled betwixt 2nd and 3rd Avenues is proud to submit as evidance:
Beers and Girls and Country Music!
The new Dive Bar Country Music Sensation that is sweeping the ..uh..this particular dive bar this Thursday!
Featuring lead singer of the world renowned Classaholics and front man extraordinaire:
Rich Mann!
With special guest on lead guitar from The Prigs (the band not the people):
MACK PRICE!
With possible guest appearance by the always entertaining, on drums:
MARK “IF HE FEELS LIKE COMING” GRAHAM!
We will be playing all of your old favorites plus mixing in our special brand of filthy drinking bar songs too embarrassing and offendenating to be mentioned in this email.
Such As!:
She Caught My Eye, I Caught Her Chlamydia
Hard Cussin Woman
Grampa Please Stay Out of Grandma’s Underwear Draw (the ballad of Marv Albert)
I Gotta Take a Paternity Test
Darlin, I Love You and Shit
And many more! Show starts at 8:30pm and concludes at drunk.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Neck
Last night I was folding clothes and watching WBC when all of a sudden I thought I was dying. I dropped to my knees with a searing neck cramp and cried out loud enough to wake up Carrie. By far the worst pain of my life. I felt it all the way down to my fingertips. It lasted about five seconds. I have no idea what brought it on but I thought it was a one-time thing. Then it happened again about 15 minutes later. I then realized it was happening when I'd turn my head a certain way. I remember thinking that you could add up all the pain I've experienced (crushed toes, MCL tear, tattoo, moccasin bite) and the aggregate wouldn't approach this level of pain. I stayed up till about 1 a.m. fighting it and losing. I was on the verge of going to the ER but I loaded up on ibuprofen and laid in bed to let it take effect. I was terrified to fall asleep in case I cramped up and couldn't get out of it. So I slept fitfully with tons of cool dreams I can no longer remember. I woke up with nothing more than a stiff neck and couldn't re-create the cramps.
Today I went to the doctor. The x-rays showed nothing except what the doctor disturbingly called "normal spinal wear for a 34-year old." Also during my x-ray I got to wear this sweet dong shield. But to rule out some other causes of my neck pain he ordered an MRI.
Now I have no problem penetrating the MRI tube. I had one once before when I got peléed in the back of the head by an unopened beer bottle. But I was pretty loaded back then and don't remember too much. But there seems to be this big push toward "open" MRI machines because apparently peeps can't handle the tube. I used to think that thinking was ridiculously stupid but after lying in it for 15 minutes today and listening to all the sounds and almost not fitting in the first place, I'm downgrading my opinion to thinking those people are merely impractically stupid. Because I can see how it can be disconcerting. It made tons of different loud-ass noises. I found myself naming the noises and wishing I had some drumsticks to bang out some fills with while I was up in there. I named the noises the Click Track (which sounded like the metronome on your digital recorder), the Secret Lair (named so because it sounded like in Bond movies after he penetrates the villian's lair and sets it to self destruct it you hear whooooOOOOOOP! whooooOOOOOOP! whooooOOOOOOP!), the Jackhammer (THGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHG), the Fallout Shelter (BLEAAARRRRGGG BLEAAARRRRGGG BLEAAARRRRGGG), the Space Invader (CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO) and the Slippery Chinaman (TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI [crash]). Man that thing had some different noises. It's a good thing they gave me ear protection because it was loud as shit up in there. When I got out I axed them surely they got some fat asses who didn't fit, since I barely did at my svelte 240. They said they had a bigger one, but even that didn't fit everyone and once or twice they had to sent people to the Vet School at LSU to use the equine MRI thing. Also they said the open MRI doesn't yield as accurate results.
I find out the results next week. The MRI was to eliminate the possibility of a disc problem. In the meantime he told me to hold off sports for a couple of days. Good thing that volleyball doesn't start until next week.
Today I went to the doctor. The x-rays showed nothing except what the doctor disturbingly called "normal spinal wear for a 34-year old." Also during my x-ray I got to wear this sweet dong shield. But to rule out some other causes of my neck pain he ordered an MRI.
Now I have no problem penetrating the MRI tube. I had one once before when I got peléed in the back of the head by an unopened beer bottle. But I was pretty loaded back then and don't remember too much. But there seems to be this big push toward "open" MRI machines because apparently peeps can't handle the tube. I used to think that thinking was ridiculously stupid but after lying in it for 15 minutes today and listening to all the sounds and almost not fitting in the first place, I'm downgrading my opinion to thinking those people are merely impractically stupid. Because I can see how it can be disconcerting. It made tons of different loud-ass noises. I found myself naming the noises and wishing I had some drumsticks to bang out some fills with while I was up in there. I named the noises the Click Track (which sounded like the metronome on your digital recorder), the Secret Lair (named so because it sounded like in Bond movies after he penetrates the villian's lair and sets it to self destruct it you hear whooooOOOOOOP! whooooOOOOOOP! whooooOOOOOOP!), the Jackhammer (THGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHG), the Fallout Shelter (BLEAAARRRRGGG BLEAAARRRRGGG BLEAAARRRRGGG), the Space Invader (CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO) and the Slippery Chinaman (TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI [crash]). Man that thing had some different noises. It's a good thing they gave me ear protection because it was loud as shit up in there. When I got out I axed them surely they got some fat asses who didn't fit, since I barely did at my svelte 240. They said they had a bigger one, but even that didn't fit everyone and once or twice they had to sent people to the Vet School at LSU to use the equine MRI thing. Also they said the open MRI doesn't yield as accurate results.
I find out the results next week. The MRI was to eliminate the possibility of a disc problem. In the meantime he told me to hold off sports for a couple of days. Good thing that volleyball doesn't start until next week.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
National Debt Hits 11 Trillion
Nilk. Can you explain to me how America won't be fucked if this continues? Won't the debt eventually crush us?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Astroturf= Shitty
We had our first regular season football game yesterday. The field was astroturf. I made a dive at the opposing quarterback as he ran by. I now have no skin on my left elbow and calf.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Rich's Links of the Day
Loud Farts Screw up city hall. I know you have seen this elsewhere but I gots to see it again.
How to guide to screw up the economy
How to guide to screw up the economy
Sunday, March 8, 2009
"Touch" Football
My touch football league is supposed to so easy they let girls play in it. Last season I got lit up worse than anything I ever got in rugby which is full contact and today I lit someone up worse than anything I ever gave in rugby except for one sweet hit where I laid this dude the fuck out. Oh man I wish I had that hit on tape cause it was naaaaaaaaaaaaaaasty.
Anyway, today we had our preseason game in touch. I was playing linebacker and taking away the easy over the middle short routes. The quarterback couldn't find anyone and tried to run for it to his right. I was leaning right when he took off so I had to cut quick to my left to catch him. Now you know how when you start off a sprint you bend way over low so you can propel yourself forward without falling backwards? I was about 3 steps into it and going pretty good when THUNK. I accidentally put my left should into this big fat chick's stomach who was running the other way. I got the better of it cause even though she out weighed me easily, she was vertical and I was low and driving my legs and my shoulder is a lot more solid than her flabby, squishy belly. Also I am a man and she is a girl, I mean, come on.
So down she goes in a heap. I would say it was a decleater but she was only in tennis shoes. I helped her up and asked if she was all right. She nodded and walked off the field but I know the look of someone with the wind knocked out of them. I felt pretty bad cause whenever I get the wind knocked out of me I literally think I might die and am scared. Seriously. I can't breathe for a few seconds try as I might. You need breath to live. I didn't do it on purpose though.
I played pretty crappy I thought cause I could never get open or something and the qb never threw to me. We lost. After the game I found out we had thrown the game so they wouldn't put us in a hard division and we might have a chance to win some games. Last season we got clobbered. So guess I didn't suck so bad after all cause the qb was just throwing to girls and the other team all the time.
After the game the team playing after us was short players so they drafted me to be their qb. Oh man. Sometimes you are on and sometimes you are off and today I was full on. You have 7 receivers in our league and I hit all of em at least 3 times apiece. I wasn't keeping track of completion percentage but it had to be close to 80. We just marched down the field on them ever time. Best two plays were when I hit a deep guy 30 yards downfield in stride for a td and when I hit a different deep guy 30 yards downfield in stride for a td. Shopping cart football seems to payoff.
I hope they put that team in the hard division cause I don't wanna play them. Especially if I am qbing for them. That would be too hard to defend and explain.
Anyway, today we had our preseason game in touch. I was playing linebacker and taking away the easy over the middle short routes. The quarterback couldn't find anyone and tried to run for it to his right. I was leaning right when he took off so I had to cut quick to my left to catch him. Now you know how when you start off a sprint you bend way over low so you can propel yourself forward without falling backwards? I was about 3 steps into it and going pretty good when THUNK. I accidentally put my left should into this big fat chick's stomach who was running the other way. I got the better of it cause even though she out weighed me easily, she was vertical and I was low and driving my legs and my shoulder is a lot more solid than her flabby, squishy belly. Also I am a man and she is a girl, I mean, come on.
So down she goes in a heap. I would say it was a decleater but she was only in tennis shoes. I helped her up and asked if she was all right. She nodded and walked off the field but I know the look of someone with the wind knocked out of them. I felt pretty bad cause whenever I get the wind knocked out of me I literally think I might die and am scared. Seriously. I can't breathe for a few seconds try as I might. You need breath to live. I didn't do it on purpose though.
I played pretty crappy I thought cause I could never get open or something and the qb never threw to me. We lost. After the game I found out we had thrown the game so they wouldn't put us in a hard division and we might have a chance to win some games. Last season we got clobbered. So guess I didn't suck so bad after all cause the qb was just throwing to girls and the other team all the time.
After the game the team playing after us was short players so they drafted me to be their qb. Oh man. Sometimes you are on and sometimes you are off and today I was full on. You have 7 receivers in our league and I hit all of em at least 3 times apiece. I wasn't keeping track of completion percentage but it had to be close to 80. We just marched down the field on them ever time. Best two plays were when I hit a deep guy 30 yards downfield in stride for a td and when I hit a different deep guy 30 yards downfield in stride for a td. Shopping cart football seems to payoff.
I hope they put that team in the hard division cause I don't wanna play them. Especially if I am qbing for them. That would be too hard to defend and explain.
I live Next to Columbia U's Music School
Right now there is french horn playing the Back to the Future theme. Fucking awesome.
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