I am an ass master. I can let the most voluminous farts slide out with no fanfare or vibrations. In a crowded social situation it is entirely easy for me so sidle up to the window and breeze one out and no one is the wiser. I am sure everyone else can do this as well because I have been around for plenty of mysterious fumes that did not originate with me.
So how much is this ability worth to you? And when I say You can no longer fart silently I mean not even quietly. Every time is a loud trumpeted affair as if performed by a children's comedian. All social engagements, dinner, parties, weddings, romantic carriage rides, will periodically be interrupted by your screaming ass. It won't necessarily be filthy stinkers all the time. You may luck out and have some harmless ones but none will get by unnoticed.
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