Just how badly do you want those Dodgers tickets?

Email forward from today.

Where is nilk skinny pic?

You got before and after pix? I think I am about 4-5 lbs lighter since two weaks ago. Don't have a scale but can really tell pants getting floppy. I need to do at least another 5 by race day.

Where is nilk skinny pic?

Wanna Chonga

Sunday we are making Chimi Chongas at the Saints game at Marx. I can't wait but I gotta pay for it in advance with no eating all week. Them chongas gonna be so good.

Running Sux

I should be able to finish the 5k but damn if I will do it with any kind of speed. I ran today and nearly died. Hopefully it was just cuz I didn't eat a damn thang all day and was starving.

Children at Church

Worshiping.

Taxi

Do NYC cabbies have to take you anywhere in the city? If you grab a cab at Yankee Stadium does he have to take you to JFK if you request it? Staten Island to Harlem? Or can they just say sorry dude, you gotta walk and bus it like Martin.

Bad Guys Busted

Well, we caught the bad guys on camera and they will be arrested. I did a little sleuthing around and was able to figure out that there were 2 people involved with the mugging. I even found out their names and where they live. Yesterday I went to the police station to view some security video they uncovered that they thought might show the bad guys.

The video shows me walking by followed by the exact two bad guys who I figured were involved stalking me. A couple of minutes later shows the knifeman running away. I knew for sure the knife guy was involved but was delighted to see that not only was I right about the other guy but now had evidance to back me up. And the cops agree with me and will be picking them up. I may get to do some sweet testifying if I am lucky. I really hope I get to gloat and rub they stupid faces in the fact that I win in the end. I also want my 5 bux back.

Girls Rock the Boyz

Thursday night I was walking home from the country gig. I should play more gigs btw cuz I fucking kill em. Anyway, at about 110th st as I get close to Columbia this drunk college couple is hanging out in front of a bar. By drunk I mean hammered and they are having a kinda of argument. I overhear the dude (who was humongous) saying that he likes to flirt with all the girls in all the bars but it doesn't mean anything cause he never fools around with them.

So as I am walking past, the chick (who was fantastically hot) says "well how about this then" and she turns to me and raises her shirt, under which there is no brassier, and shows me a perfectly shaped boobie. Not the set, just a single.

So now the dude is mad. But he's not mad at her. Nooooo. He's mad at me. Like I did anything. So he yells at me "oh yeah, I bet you like that huh? You like that?" Of course I loved it. Who wouldn't? But that doesn't mean he should be mad at me. He should be mad at her slutty ass. He is only falling for her tricks cause this is exactly the reaction she wanted from him.

I didn't have time to say all that though and he was so drunk I doubt I could have gotten him to understand my dead-on point so instead I just stammer "I'm just walking by man".

"Yeah?" he says "well KEEP walking."

Then I hear the girl holler at me "yeah, keep walking!"

Ridiculous. She was the one showing boobie to start the whole trouble. Not me. When I was a block away they were already making out hard core.

Some Things Just Don't Seem Like They Should Mix

I got an email invitation to a rock climbing/whiskey tasting event.

The Race is On

So Mark and Martin and me are doing a 5k jog next month. O horrible jogging. I have been running every day and it is getting easier but I really gotta lose some delicious weight if I gonna go fast. Trouble is this is the beginning of football season and I really enjoy a beer and a football game.

And by "a beer" I mean several beers. And by "a football game" I mean nachos.

Righteous

For Beverley

Just kidding, this one's for her

God willing, I'll be seeing these holy hitz live on Friday. Amen.

Fashion Comes Back Around

Why oh why can't this hairstyle come back?


I mean, whoever looked at this hairstyle and thought "well, i guess it's now completely fucking stupid looking. Let's give it a shot"?

Personalized Links

For Me Only

For Mark Only

For Jock Only

For Nilk Only

For Martin Only

Muggenator

So, did you really get robbed at knife point?

Of Course.

Where?

In the ribs.


I am kinda pissed that I chickened out and didn't fight the mugger but it was certainly the smart choice cause losing a knife fight is tons worse than losing a regular one. I am kinda proud though that I didn't really freak out and think I handled myself rather admirably during the whole ordeal all things considered.

It wasn't nearly as scary as you would think to have a masked knife man telling you he is gonna fuck you up. I think it was because this particular knife man was so scared and nervous himself that he didn't really menace me properly. Plus, he was about my size and I kinda thought I could beat him up if it came to it.

I guess to have a true test of how brave I am I would need to get mugged by a huge muscle dude who was a pro and not nervous and scared at all come at me and see how I react.

But I ain't going out of my way to volunteer for that.

Goddamn Bums

I told you those bums were getting more aggressive. I just got robbed at knife point. Well, not JUST. A few hours ago. I been chillin at the police department. 10 points to the first person who can guess what he looked like.

American Dummy

I always felt kinda dumb about myself cause I don't know shit about American history and the presidents. Werl no more. Last night I memorized all 44 presidents in order. It weren't hard. All I had to do was write a boring little song about them and now they are all upstairs for good. If only someone would write a song with every english word followed by the spanish translation.

Also, Remember this?

Militant Obama Kids.

Also, Remember this?

Militant Obama Kids.

I Pledge

Have you seen this puke inducing I Pledge video? One of the pledges is "I pledge to be a servant to the president and to all mankind". A servant to the president? Fuck him. He's my servant. How is this kinda shit even remotely thought to be cool?

Also they want you to not flush the toilet after you take a piss to save water. So you have a fester pool of sewer water in your living quarters. Piss on that.

Rich's Rule of Internet Usability

The internet is great source of information provided the thing you are interested is not likely to generate a profit for anyone.


EG

I could google Austia-Hungary and immediately get tons of useful facts about this empire of yore. No one thinks they can make any money off these facts so no one gives a fuck.

Google lasik eye surgery. Say I wanna know who invented it and what the fuck it is about. Well tons of fucks think they can make money selling me this service so no info is easisly available about it. Only fuckface clinics that want to sell me shit. I love capitalism but man do I sometimes hate capitalists.

Rich's Rule of Internet Usability