Rich's Links of the Day

This Brit is Pessimistic on Obama. There does seem to be a lot of people out of their minds in love with Obama. How can anyone love a politician. They are the bad guys. Might as well love a shark or Cobra snake.

Some Say FDR Prolonged the Great Depression. Something to keep in mind with everyone clamouring for a new New Deal.

Cool Pics. I love cool pics.

More Doom and Gloom. If things are as bad as it looks we are really in for a world of shit. I Remember Nilk was hardcore about how hardcore it was gonna be 4 years ago. How he know and no one else?

Volleyball

We had 3 more games last night. 0 for 3. Man did we ever stink up the joint. Didn't even come close in any game. It was one of the dudes birthdays and before the game everyone but martin met up for cake and beer which I advised against. I think that may have had some effect. Hopefully no more birthdays this season.

Rich's Links of the Day

Thomas Sowell writes about affordable housing. Why ain't this dude President?

Movie Review: The Wrestler

Martin and I went to see The Wrestler last week. It was pretty crowded in the theatre and very few seats were free. I didn't see how it began cause I was listening to Martin tell a funny ass story about his overly dramatic room mate chick but all of a sudden a very pushy couple was arguing with some people in the row behind us over seats. We were in the handicapped seats so we had the only 2 seats on the ground and the bar before the first real was right behind us which is what separated the two parties. The argument was just to my right side. I coulda rubbed my face sweetly on the pushy girl's coat if I had thought of it and wanted to but didn't on both counts.



Anyway, they had a good little back and forth going and it appeared to me that there was one couple that was saving 2 seats for another couple they didn't know that were the main arguers with the pushy standy couple. A secondary couple sitting on the other side of the empty seats got involved cause the pushy couple wouldn't shut up about taking the seats and the pushy dude called the secondary dude a dick. Secondary dude was on like a first date or something and was embarrassed. He was also about twice the size of the pushy guy. So over the rail he jumps and gets in Pushy's face and calls him a pussy and dares him to fight if it ain't true. Turns out it is true cause Pushy gets all meek and suddenly learns manners and forgets how to talk.

Pushy bitch is still going at it with the girl from the primary seated couple and I hear threats to call 911 from Pushy Girl. The whole theatre had gotten real quiet at this point and everyone was enjoying the show. So with Pushy Dude getting cowed and Pushy Girl still being demanding all of a sudden the primary seated chick hauls off and slaps Pushy Bitch in the face. It was the most gentle and loving slap you have ever seen. Their ain't any harm in a million of em but you woulda thought Pushy Bitch had just been shot from the way she acted.

She howls and shrieks and storms out of the auditorium with Pussy Boy screaming about how she is gonna call the cops and accompanied by thundering applause and cat calls from the rest of the viewing audience. The general consensus seemed to be that the Pushies sucked and it was good riddance overall.

A few minutes into the movie here comes Pushy Bitch again, this time flanked by two cops and a manager with a flash light. She very smugly points out gentle slap girl and away the cops whisk her insisting that her boyfriend stay and watch the movie. 10 minutes later they come back in to collect the boyfriend and haul off the slappy girl to the big house.

I never figured a harmless slap such as that could result in a prison term and felt pretty damn bad for the poor girl. If I were the cops I would have inspected the pushy bitch and seen she was fine and told her to shut the fuck up. Or at worst let her get a gentle slap back at the other girl. 5 years in the big house seems a bit excessive to me for a harmless little slap.

After the movie Martin just went home and said he had learned his lesson from Valkerie not to go out drinking so much so that was the end of the night.

Morale: The Wrestler starts out pretty entertainingly but then kinda fizzles at the end with everyone behaving themselves and being responsible and going home.

Rich's Links of the Day

Memory Pill Coming. To be taken with food and a Memory Erasure and Whiskey Chaser.

The Willis hit Jock was talking bout. He's fine.

Racist words that no longer are. I am not so sure about the validity of this list.

Monkey Teasing a Dog. I love when monkeys run on two legs cause they look like stupid, messed up old men who are amazingly agile. Always laugh.

Which reminds me of this clip Markulus had a while back of a Monkey on a Scooter. It's even better cause they dress the little jerk up like an old man. When he runs at the end I lose it ever time.

Pointless Question

How much would you sell your ability to fart silently for?

I am an ass master. I can let the most voluminous farts slide out with no fanfare or vibrations. In a crowded social situation it is entirely easy for me so sidle up to the window and breeze one out and no one is the wiser. I am sure everyone else can do this as well because I have been around for plenty of mysterious fumes that did not originate with me.



So how much is this ability worth to you? And when I say You can no longer fart silently I mean not even quietly. Every time is a loud trumpeted affair as if performed by a children's comedian. All social engagements, dinner, parties, weddings, romantic carriage rides, will periodically be interrupted by your screaming ass. It won't necessarily be filthy stinkers all the time. You may luck out and have some harmless ones but none will get by unnoticed.

Football

My football team won this week. 12-13. I didn't drop the interception this time but I should have as it was 4th down and I cost us about 15 yards of field position. I always curse and ridicule defenders who do this on tv and I did it. It just bounced so perfectly to me that I had caught it before I realized what I was doing.

Later on defense I was two hand touching this big dude on their team that had just made a catch. Little did I realize this was gonna be like trying to two hand touch a Buick. He snapped my head back with his elbow as he was turning around. I have played rugby and never been rocked so hard as I was in the touch football league yesterday. My teamates were all looking concerned at me and made me go sit down. I guess I looked like how I felt. Pretty much out on my feet or punch drunk or whatever.

I got better and came back on and had a few catches but no touchdowns. On the final play of the game I was double covering the Buick dude who was their best player. The ball came to him in the end zone and I leaped up and batted it down hard. Like full volleyball spike hard. He still fucking caught it. Unbelievable. They missed the extra point and we won. I am still pissed that he caught that last TD.

Second Thoughts

I am feeling bad about the hobo again. What got me thinking is it is soooo fuuuuucking cold out there. I couldn't stand out on the corner for 5 minutes without shivering uncontrolably. It's 15 freaking degrees out there. Anyway I got to thinking if I was standing around in horrible, hateful cold like that maybe I would get a little desperate and pushy too.


(frozen to death hobo)

Not that he was a good guy or anything. I still think there is a good chance he was a step away from being a mugger but I guess I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. I aint complete ass though. I didn't give a full beat down or nothing. Just a wall bouncing and a little how do you do in the ribs. He ran away fine.

Anyway, I think I should have just cowed him down, cause he obviously didn't want any as he was backing away, and just called him a pussy and left. I hope he doesn't come back with a blade or friends. Do bums have friends?

Rich's Links of the Day

Socialism Imminent. So long freedom. Hello Stinktown.

Will we ever get off Earth? I hope I live to see it. I can't wait to kick some space bum ass.

13 Fake Wrestling Finishing Moves. Ok I know. Wrassling is for idiots but these moves are still kinda cool to watch.

Bum Fight 2

Well I have sobered up and am thinking clearly now. I had kinda felt bad about the whole thing last night but today as I go over the whole thing lucidly in my head I am sure that I did just right. That son of a bitch got what he had coming.

I didn't really do a good job last night of conveying exactly how aggressive this punk was. I think if I was a woman there is a very good chance I would be a mugged woman right now. Right off the bat he was invading my space and getting up in my face. "Lemme get a dollar man". If you coulda heard his tone, he was NOT asking. Very threatening and intimidating and he walked with me and grabbed my right elbow. He held it so firm that my first modest attempt to jerk free did not work and I had to really make a full effort to wrench free on the second try.

This put jolt of fear through me as it was very weird and unprecedented. Then he starts with the insults. As I start off across the street I really get the chance to size him up and do the mental arithmetic in my head and come up with the answer: Not Scary. The jolt of fear having nowhere to go now turns to fury so I run back over and dash him against the wall.

I also did a pretty poor job of bragging about how good of a shove I got on him. It was tremendous. He was backing up and I was coming up from the street to the curb so I got him nice and low and was really able to get both legs into it and just sent him tumbling. I wish I had it on film cause I bet at some point he was entirely off the ground. Anyway, I kinda jogged home to get the hell outta there cause I wasn't so drunk that I wasn't concerned that some cops might see me bumrushing, no pun intended (did you notice that sweet pun?) dudes and haul me into the big house. Even though I was right I don't wanna risk anything with cops and somehow getting into a whole shank or be shanked situation.

Bum Fight

Well speak of the fucking devil. Bum fight you want? Ok you got your fuckin bum fight. Not ten minutes ago I got off the fuckin train. Minding my own fucking business. Admittedly I have had more than a few to drink but I am still on my best (moderate) behavior. Some fucking bum accosts me as I get off the stairs to the station. I got nothing for him. I aint rude or picking a fight or nothing. I just dont want to give drug money to an obvious piece of shit. this mother fucker is mumbling curses and shit at me as I cross the road. I stop (again the drunkness probly but still I am in the rigt and tell him to shut his fucking ass up). He tells me to suck his dick and to come back across the street if I aint a fagot. A fucking drugged up bum mind you.

This is too many for me. Off across the street I go. He stand hid ground but it is the least scarey thing if you could be if you saw him. Skinny ass drugged up piece of shit. He hurt nothin. As I get close he backs up but I already too close and shove the shit out of him and down he goes against the side of a building and rib kick when he gets up and runs away. I gave chase but only chase like when you dont wanna actually catch dude cause I kinda regained head when he went down but still wanna insult and hurt his feelings which I think I did a pretty damn good job of doing. If I was he I woulda felt bad. Anyway, I told you those fucking bums are getting more aggresive. Full out muggings soon. I scared.

I'm marrying Shelley

But not like that. I'm the officiant. Remember when Nilk axed me to be the preacher-man at his wedding? I chickened out so Lars did it up way better than I could ever have done it. But now I'm over all that and I'm still ordained so I'm doing Shelley and Jeff. Man this is going to be a short wedding.

Remember when Kirk read the Metallica lyrics? What song was that?

So Shelley is now officially off the market now and will never fulfill her wish of her and Nilk. Nilk, to his credit, tried to parlay it into a threesome with Marth, to no avail. I'll post a couple of pictures of tomorrow's wedding as soon as I get them.

Minor Scare

Mark texted me that an Airliner had crashed in the Hudson river around 47th street this afternoon. I was on 47th street so I ran outside to see what was going on. Also, whenever there is some kinda trauma in New York City I immediately worry about Islams so I wanted to get a running start if there was some kinda Allah Akbar thing going down. Quite a few people were thinking the same thing and running in no direction and there were emergency vehicles flying west down 47th. Me and the dude I was trying to sell a stone to legged it down to the bank. Along the way we learned that it was not islams but instead some radical, fudamentalist geese that had suicide attacked the engines and brought the plane down. Geeselams he called em. The plane was floating in the river surrounded by ferry boats and drifting south fairly quickly. It was hard to see anything cause all the people and boats in the way. They said survivors where standing on the wings but I couldn't see em. We got bored and went back inside out of the terrible freezing cold we are having today.

.

Martin's Theory

This is my friend Dee from volleyball. She's a former All-America indoor player who is mostly responsible for my 10,000 percent improvement on the sand in the past few years. Anyone want to guess what she's made out of?

Hint: She sorta looks Mexican and at the same time she sorta looks Chinese.

Russian Girls

When I was a kid it was a common joke that Russian chicks were fat and ugly. What other jokes back then were lies?

Rich's Links of the Day

mWhat Anthills look like underneath. Humongous and gross.

Top 25 Fat Cities in America. Save the Fattest City For Me.

Record Cold and Snow. Something seems a bit off with the global warming scare here.

Teens Send Nekkid Pics to Each Other on They Phones as the latest fad. Why oh why did they not have camera phones when we were in high school?

People conform. This is how you are able to get obviously stupid shit like government run healthcare pushed through,

Apparently we are all just holograms. Why the hell can't i float through walls then?

rich mann wanted me to post to this sweet new blog. i cant think of much to post as my life is mostly putting one boring day after the other. no car in boring santa fe. i did read a new book about the beatles which was sweet. ringo and paul were clearly the best beatles, john was talented but such a drug obsessed asshole. also yoko ono is the worst person who ever lived hands down no competition. the beatles hated to have anybody in the studio with them and she would come and try to critique what they were doing. one time she was pregnant and had to stay in bed so she had a bed brought to the studio and had a mike hanging over the bed so she could put her two cents in. i dont know how paul kept himself from killing that slant eyed cunt.

sweet volleyball, why cant i still be in the greatest city on earth. that would enable me to put at least two hours behind me in enjoyment. dagnabit.

My Country Music Heritage

My Dad's uncle or something or other (some kinda cousin or uncle through his mom) wrote this obscure song. I have never heard it except for Dad singing it and not knowing the words. Anyway, he sold it to some record company and this dude Hank Thompson made it slightly famous in the 80's. I still can't find a studio version but here it is live at some depressing fair or picnic.

Volleyball

Martin and I had our first real volleyball games that counted yesterday. I thought there was a chance and Martin agreed that we might go undefeated in the season as we both played pretty bad last time and still smoked the other team 3-0. I hadn't counted on a bunch of newbies showing up to the real game and sucking. We got crushed pretty bad in the first 2 games and barely squeaked out a 15-14 win in the last one in which we were given a free point cause their girl hurt herself and couldn't play. The league is coed and kinda goofy and has penalties if you don't have enough girls which I feel like a scumbag enforcing. I hate getting free points and serves cause it makes any win feel undeserved.

Martin and I played much better this time. I didn't put everything away like I should but I didn't have any horrible errors or hit anything into the net or out. Martin only had a couple of goofy hits but as a whole did well. We had one stretch where he and I were both on the front line and we had 6 spikes in a row for points. Then the other team got wise and hit it to the back row and ended our streak. I think overall we did better as a team but the team we were playing was much better than the previous week's. Also they only had one girl.

I thought for a little while they had two. They had this one tall, blond, German looking character of dubious gender running around that I immediately dubbed "Helga" and Martin later dubbed "Pre-Op Jimmy". After the games at Brother Jimmy's we somehow got into a faked role playing bit where Martin had to call his dad and tell him he got beat by a tranny. It went something like this here:



Martin: Hello? Dad?
Dad: Mawtin, great to hear from you boy. How you been?
Martin: Pretty good. I just got back from my volleyball match.
Dad: Oh? How did that go for ya?
Martin: Not so great, we got pounded pretty bad. They had this one shemale thing that was spiking all over the place.
Dad: ....You got beaten ...by a transexual?
Martin: Well, that just one of the team members, there were others playing well too.
Dad: ...Wa...Was it pre-op....or post-op?
Martin: Well...pre-op we think...but we didn't do a whole medical exam thing it ...coulda been...post.
Martin:....em....Dad?
Dad: (DailTooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone).

Awesome Old School Country Song

Dang Me: Roger Miller

This dude has a sweet ass voice.