Last night I was folding clothes and watching WBC when all of a sudden I thought I was dying. I dropped to my knees with a searing neck cramp and cried out loud enough to wake up Carrie. By far the worst pain of my life. I felt it all the way down to my fingertips. It lasted about five seconds. I have no idea what brought it on but I thought it was a one-time thing. Then it happened again about 15 minutes later. I then realized it was happening when I'd turn my head a certain way. I remember thinking that you could add up all the pain I've experienced (crushed toes, MCL tear, tattoo, moccasin bite) and the aggregate wouldn't approach this level of pain. I stayed up till about 1 a.m. fighting it and losing. I was on the verge of going to the ER but I loaded up on ibuprofen and laid in bed to let it take effect. I was terrified to fall asleep in case I cramped up and couldn't get out of it. So I slept fitfully with tons of cool dreams I can no longer remember. I woke up with nothing more than a stiff neck and couldn't re-create the cramps.
Today I went to the doctor. The x-rays showed nothing except what the doctor disturbingly called "normal spinal wear for a 34-year old." Also during my x-ray I got to wear this sweet dong shield. But to rule out some other causes of my neck pain he ordered an MRI.
Now I have no problem penetrating the MRI tube. I had one once before when I got peléed in the back of the head by an unopened beer bottle. But I was pretty loaded back then and don't remember too much. But there seems to be this big push toward "open" MRI machines because apparently peeps can't handle the tube. I used to think that thinking was ridiculously stupid but after lying in it for 15 minutes today and listening to all the sounds and almost not fitting in the first place, I'm downgrading my opinion to thinking those people are merely impractically stupid. Because I can see how it can be disconcerting. It made tons of different loud-ass noises. I found myself naming the noises and wishing I had some drumsticks to bang out some fills with while I was up in there. I named the noises the Click Track (which sounded like the metronome on your digital recorder), the Secret Lair (named so because it sounded like in Bond movies after he penetrates the villian's lair and sets it to self destruct it you hear whooooOOOOOOP! whooooOOOOOOP! whooooOOOOOOP!), the Jackhammer (THGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHGTHG), the Fallout Shelter (BLEAAARRRRGGG BLEAAARRRRGGG BLEAAARRRRGGG), the Space Invader (CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO) and the Slippery Chinaman (TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI TIKI [crash]). Man that thing had some different noises. It's a good thing they gave me ear protection because it was loud as shit up in there. When I got out I axed them surely they got some fat asses who didn't fit, since I barely did at my svelte 240. They said they had a bigger one, but even that didn't fit everyone and once or twice they had to sent people to the Vet School at LSU to use the equine MRI thing. Also they said the open MRI doesn't yield as accurate results.
I find out the results next week. The MRI was to eliminate the possibility of a disc problem. In the meantime he told me to hold off sports for a couple of days. Good thing that volleyball doesn't start until next week.
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I had a similar thing on Memorial Day 1997. I woke up with a shrieking pain in my chest that was worse than anything I could have possibly imagined before that. I stumbled out of bed and had to crawl down the hall and kick open my roommate's door to tell him to call someone. I ended up drinking a glass of water and it went away. Now, I no laughy so much when people complain about indigestion.
ReplyDeletei think people are scared of the mri because they have heard that it is scary. it is no big deal. small spaces are scary if you imagine being trapped, like i dont want to ever get inside a box like a footlocker because if you bolted it closed i would breakdown and come out ruined. the couple times i have been in a car trunk i had to man up and really try hard to not freak out. so scary. but the mri is a happy place that you could easily hop out of if you freaked. i love a relaxing scan.
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