Nerd Werd fun

You can keep saying buffalo over and over like a jackass and it counts as a valid english sentence. Everyone will still hate you though.

Trasfomrmer Owl

Watch yall

Annoyance

One of the downsides of unicycles is everyone always looks at you. No matter what they are doing they will stop and look at you. Also, a lot of people just yell shit at you. They're all "hey, nice going!" or "that looks really hard!" or "your fly's open!" I should charge companies to ride around holding a sign for them cause they would get a shit ton of views.

Dang Ole Hobos

So I was riding my Nimbus around the neighborhood last Friday. I am back up to level 1 again cause I can get on the thing now. Actually I can do all the level 2 tricks except getting on left footed so I should work on that. Anyhow, I was coming home when I rounded the corner on the home stretch and saw a rickety old lady creeping around the front yard. She had long unkempt gray hair and was just ambling around with no apparent purpose.

I hopped off to watch what she was up to when she made a turn and got a look at her face and saw she had a gnarly old beard. I now knew I was dealing with a hobo. I quickly scanned the area and didn't see no banjos so I could only assume it was the stabbin kind. Sick. This dude doesn't need this.

Whatever he was up to he wasn't leaving the yard as I would have liked but just kinda marionette walking around in front of the porch. Finally he starts of the steps and makes like he is gonna go inside. I hadn't locked the door and didn't want a smeller loose in the house so I yelled at him. He froze and backed down the steps and then collapsed in the yard. Great. Free dead hobo.

I just looked at him for a while and I guess he got bored of the ground cause he stood up. When he stood up it was way more agile and lithe than when he went down and it creeped me out cause drunk old hobos have no business being that spry. I wondered if maybe I was dealing with a zombie. You know, one of those zombies that looks half dead but then is really fast and hard to escape when it is chasing after your brains. Terrible.

So He makes to go inside again and I yell again and walk up on him and ask if he is alright. He says nothing but stands with his back to me. I ask again. He kinda grumbles out "can I have a glass of water?". It was at this point I realized that I didn't need a glass of water at all. What I needed was a cooler of beers and a hi five brigade cause what I was dealing with was a wigged out Mark.

I was expecting more awesome dudes to show up but they didn't which was fine cause I know what to do with one. We went and did drunk go-cart racing then ms pacman football beers till Sunday when he had to leave. Best weekend ever.

Cool Squid

Animals are awesome.

Got New Unicycle

I wore the shit out of my little baby unicycle already so I had to get another one. Got a Nimbus 2000. I wanted a Firebolt but that thing was way too expensive. Not sure why they name unicycles after brooms.

The Nimbus is a bad as 26" heavy duty thing. I had a 20" and was a level 1 according to the skill level thing I found online. On the 26" I am a level zero again. That thing is hard to get on. It is a dream on the grass though. The little girl used to get caught up in divots and send me sprawling but the big boy rolls right over that shit.

Of course I can't really turn either.

German routing

Ok, for some reason my internet in NC is routed through a server in Germany. So what happens is my stuff is translated by computer into German and then retranslated back into English by computer. This caused some confusion at first but I am now aware of the issue so that explains some things. I recently went to check out some of the songs I have posted online and was somewhat baffled. Let's see if you can figure out which song the fourth reich is rocking out to (keep in mind these are songs that I wrote that the Germans hijacked to scare their children with):

Kick Ass Band (Mehr lesen)

The Gross Train (Mehr lesen)

Real Life Horror Movie (Mehr lesen)

Nother New Song (Mehr lesen)

2 New Songs Up

Level 1

Ok. I feel ok saying I am a level one unicyclist now. I can no get on the stupid thing and ride. Level 2 will be a while coming cause I will have to get on left footed which I have zero practice at. Will take several weeks.

New Uni

Well I wore out the tire on my unicycle already. Need to get a good one I guess. I was looking for a new one online when I came across this nice looking 26 incher. Below is the copy from the catalogue. Let me know if it sounds good:

Nimbus 26 "Unicycle Plenty - Atramentous is innate to numb Muni - coat with a high-challenge obtuse that takes you from the sill to the abundance of huge valley, and everywhere in between. With 26-inch animated anatomy, which is innate in most stain appulse throw caution, while this aeon large army in a mountain style is accessible from any location chosen. Excellent for emergency descent and ascent is arduous capable of high performance 26-inch Nimbus worth living rim.Assembly is appropriate and can be carried out over 30 or under account with the procedure: Cut the bench if the column is been adapted for use mill grinder, or aqueduct bench cutterInstall framePlace wheel column to assimilate into the pedals on a unicycle frameAttach 09inch neck pain armsSpecificationsBlack Nimbus gel saddle with KH and output handle25.4mm lift bench x 300 mm column with aluminum or chrome Live elliptical output support (4-holes), clamps Seat column, the tabernacle with aluminum powdercoat Nimbus atramentous boltBlack folding 26-inch Nimbus II anatomy made by 4Animate 130 CrMo with 42 mm sleeves machined main-cap and address Magura mounts36 anchoring holes animate Nimbus ISIS gazebo familiar with CrMo spindle and 100 measures bearing14G centermost centermost address. Stainless steel chrome spokes of the wheel, 259 mm wide with 26 inch rims 3xNimbus with 36 holes, 42 mm aluminum power advanced double wall with eyelets able ERD strip26inch circle 544Rubber 2.7 x 3.0inch pipe sizeDuro Wild Leopard annoyance - 26 x 165 mm 3.0inch atramentous Nimbus Venture crank made from 7075 T-6 aluminumAluminum appearance DX pedals with pins 16/09 threadsApproximate Aeon Weight: 17 lbs.About Nimbus amount UnicyclesNo ridge unicycle has wheels for Nimbus Unicycles you. Freestyle unicycles Tour MUNI Studies and Giraffe are innate in all-Nimbus summit which has been in place, it produced an arc Nimbus unicycle names

Unicycle

I am probably one of the best level zero unidorks there is. I just rode all the way down the street and back in one turn, 350 yards, but I can not get on the damn thing.

Still Level Zero

Got a unicycle recently. Crazy hard. There are 10 levels of unicycle mastery posted online. I am still a level zero cause I can't get on the damn thing without help.

Jock and I are gonna have a joust next time I am down In BR if he will hurry up and get one.